Be careful what you wish for...

I have internet and email on my phone and a trusting workplace that doesn't monitor website usage so the in last few weeks have spent far more time than I care to admit on the New Voices site - checking my comments, watching the roses go down and waiting for a. the top ten b. the nearly-ans and c the editors' crit. Of course I said I wanted to be critiqued by the editors, it's an amazing opportunity to see where I got it right and, more pertinently and inevitably what I got wrong but with over 300 of us tossing our names into the hat I have been worrying more about the also-ran list, and how I'll feel when I am not on it.
So I got home, allowed child to skip swimming lesson after day off sick yesterday and started playing with the next instalment of my novella. I hadn't checked the New Voices site since school pick up (darn internet phone)so logged on to see that the crit list was finally posted. I wondered if any of the Newbies were on so clicked on, skimmed the list of names and - hang on, was that? No, it couldn't be. I actually clicked on my own name to make sure!
So on Thursday (or Fri, or poss next week) an editor's comments on my chapter will be publicly posted. It will be illuminating and helpful and it's as scary as help! What if it is all wrong? What if they hate it? What if I can't write? Still at least I'll know where to start the thing from this time next week. And I needn't feel guilty about holding fire on RS and enjoying myself with the Novella instead...