Yesterday I had a bad attack of the doubt crows.
The worst thing about the doubt crows is they don't just attack one insecurity, they swoop down and peck at everything.
They told me:
- I am wasting my time writing
- I take on too much, writing takes up too much time
- I am a Bad Mother
Interestingly they said I was a Bad Mother for over scheduling activities for the 8 year old AND for neglecting her to write.
Contradictory doubt crows.
They picked apart every worry I have about work, finance and life in general.
And once they start it's hard to banish them.
Every published author I know still gets attacked by the doubt crows. This week there has been a series of inspirational blogs by lots of Harlequin M&B writers to help New Voices entrants battle their demons.
Barbara T Wallace chronicled her fifteen year path to publication, Maisey Yates reassured us that she didn't win a competition either, Jessica Hart told us about books she wrote that didn't make it to publication and Donna Alward gave us a much needed talking to.
I banished the evil birds (for now) with the wise words and sympathy of my on-line writing friends and then met up with friends for pasta and just a little bit of wine. This morning my husband took the daughter to school allowing me a much needed and very rare sleep-in.
Today it all seems much better. Sometimes we all need to allow ourselves a little bit of wallowing, just not too much!
Also the second chapters were uploaded yesterday. There is a huge amount of exciting talent out there. I was pleased to see that my favourite from the first round produced a fantastic second chapter. I'm rooting for Charlotte Phillips' Honeymoon with a Stranger. How about you?